


First Snow

by Practicemakesperfect



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, BaekDo - Freeform, DoBaek, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hints of homophobia in life, Light Angst, M/M, Resolved Pining, Snow, baeksoo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-01 23:30:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20266318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Practicemakesperfect/pseuds/Practicemakesperfect
Summary: "Baekhyun knows Kyungsoo doesn’t know he likes him, and he’s glad. Their friendship has always been a comfortable one, and Baekhyun has been careful not to upset the balance."In flashes of snowy days and soft conversations, Baekhyun falls in love with Kyungsoo.





	First Snow

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea why I wrote this. It's literally Summer right now. But inspiration works in strange ways. Thank you for being here to be experience it. :)
> 
> I really love the fics that have this atmosphere, with that sort of skipping-across-years feel. It just always feels sweeter at the end.
> 
> The first section starts with them in elementary school, and works up from there. Enjoy <3

There’s maybe nothing he loves more than the snow. Baekhyun watches it fall around them onto the already-white ground, twisting a little in the swing he sits in. It’s night time, the perfect time to be outside. Already everything is illuminated by the reflection of the moon, full and bright in the sky. Baekhyun kicks at the fluff beneath his feet and smiles.

“Hey, Baekhyun. Are you listening?” Kyungsoo looks at him with furrowed brows, his glasses shining with specks of snowflakes.

“No,” Baekhyun answers truthfully. “What were you saying?”

Kyungsoo heaves out a breathy sigh and pushes off the ground to swing, his breath leaving a cloud in the air. “You never listen to me.”

“Hey, this is only the fifth time today.” Baekhyun starts swinging too, a grin forming on his face. “Anyway, what is it?”

“Nevermind.”

“Come on, tell me.”

“I changed my mind. You don’t deserve to know about my dream.”

“What dream?”

Kyungsoo stays silent and Baekhyun turns to look at him. Mittens, a fluffy jacket, a scarf, a hat. Kyungsoo always dressed appropriately for the weather, while Baekhyun (much to Kyungsoo’s disdain) donned only a sweater and sweatpants. He wasn’t that cold anyway, but Kyungsoo always seemed to get affected by even the slightest change in the weather. Even now, Kyungsoo’s nose was red from the Winter air, and every once in a while Baekhyun could hear him sniffle. 

Kyungsoo, feeling his gaze, turns and meets his eyes. He says, “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“Okay…” Baekhyun frowns but accepts it nonetheless. Sometimes with Kyungsoo you just can’t push him. He’ll come around, eventually. “Hey, Kyungsoo?”

“What?”

Baekhyun lets out a short puff of air, only to watch it form in front of him before the swing goes back the other way. His next statement is almost one made unconsciously, without thinking. “Will we always be friends?”

When there is no response Baekhyun looks and sees Kyungsoo staring at him. “Are you stupid?”

Baekhyun feels a twinge of annoyance. “Fine, whatever.”

“Of course we’ll always be friends.” Kyungsoo ignores his short tone, his own shifting into one of finality. He doesn’t say anything more.

Baekhyun, satisfied, decides to forgive Kyungsoo and settles back into his happy swing, looking up at the moon. It’s not a lot. _Of course we’ll always be friends._

Somehow, Baekhyun thinks it’s enough.

***

It’s hard to love your best friend.

Baekhyun decides this the moment he realizes he likes Kyungsoo, one winter night not unlike that calm one years ago. He’s known Kyungsoo for forever, or for what seems like forever, and maybe that was what made it dangerous. The familiarity. The comfort. The ability Kyungsoo had to always know what to say or how to make Baekhyun feel better, even when Baekhyun thinks it’s impossible.

Baekhyun broke up with his girlfriend. She was his height, with pretty blue eyes and the kind of freckles that reminded him of the starry sky he never got to see in a suburban town like this one, filled with street lamps and house lights and everything that stopped stars from shining. She laughed at his jokes, and she kept him company when he was bored. He liked her a lot. His first girlfriend. Older than him by a year, an eighth grader, a person he could look up to.

But she broke up with him.

They sit on the swings in their favorite park, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo in a new jacket with a new scarf, gifts he’d gotten for entering the sixth grade. Kyungsoo is quiet while Baekhyun mourns his loss.

“I don’t get it. Why would she break up with me like that?”

It isn’t snowing. But the ground is covered in the white from earlier, and Baekhyun takes the liberty to kick at it like he always does, sending snow flying in front of him. Eventually his foot meets dirt, and he gives up and starts swinging. Kyungsoo watches him and, once he kicks off the ground, says, “maybe she just wasn’t meant for you.”

And somehow just that alone is enough to comfort him, and he agrees. Kyungsoo always knows what to say, and Baekhyun sees his brown eyes watching his, and he realizes that maybe he likes Kyungsoo a little. A little in the way he shouldn’t, because boys liking boys isn’t normal, everyone in church says so, and his mom, and his dad, but Kyungsoo has suddenly the prettiest eyes behind the cutest pair of glasses and Baekhyun wants to kick himself.

He’s his best friend. He just broke up with his girlfriend.

Baekhyun looks away.

“Are you okay?” Kyungsoo for some reason feels compelled to ask.

“No.” 

They stay in comfortable silence after that.

***

Baekhyun doesn’t talk to Kyungsoo a lot these days.

He’s busy, what with his new friends and the fact that he’s a high schooler while Kyungsoo is still stuck in eighth grade. Being a freshman in high school is daunting, but Baekhyun thinks he’s managing well. He thinks maybe there’s a girl who’s crushing on him in his Geometry class, but he isn’t sure. He should ask Kyungsoo; Kyungsoo always has a knack for knowing these kinds of things.

Winter break comes and they meet in the park again, and Baekhyun tells Kyungsoo, “I think this girl likes me.”

“Okay. What am I supposed to do about that?”

Is Baekhyun imagining things? Why does Kyungsoo sound defensive?

He doesn’t know why, but suddenly he doesn’t want to talk about the girl anymore. “Nevermind. Do you like anyone?”

“Why?” Kyungsoo shoots back. “Do you?”

“I asked first.”

“But I matter more.”

Well. Baekhyun can’t argue with that, so he relents. “I think I like someone.”

Kyungsoo’s lips were turned in a soft smile with Baekhyun’s silent agreement of his importance, but now they’re a straight line. “Really?” Baekhyun can’t tell if he’s interested, or neutral. “Who is it?”

“Maybe the girl that likes me,” Baekhyun says, and it’s not entirely a lie, he thinks. She is cute. But she wasn’t the first person to pop into his head.

Kyungsoo nods and fixes his scarf to cover his mouth. His voice is muffled when he says, “that’s good. That it’s probably mutual.”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun doesn’t know why he feels disappointed. Or of course he knows. But he doesn’t feel like admitting it to himself, so he doesn’t.

It isn’t until later that Baekhyun realizes Kyungsoo never answered the question himself.

***

Baekhyun knows Kyungsoo doesn’t know he likes him, and he’s glad. Their friendship has always been a comfortable one, and Baekhyun has been careful not to upset the balance. 

No extra touches. No dropping hints. No extra texts beyond their usual day-to-day chats. He’s careful. He doesn’t want to lose the friendship he and Kyungsoo has, especially since Kyungsoo definitely doesn’t like him. Sure, Kyungsoo never mentioned liking anyone, but Baekhyun is pretty sure he’s straight. And anyway…

Baekhyun tries to forget the sermon in church, but it’s hard. It’s in his head when he gets to the park, sitting on the swing alone, waiting for Kyungsoo to show up.

When he does, Baekhyun barely notices him. “Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo says, startling him. Chocolate eyes stare into his own. “What’s wrong?”

He can’t say it. It’s wrong. He picks at the skin next to his nails and bites his lip, suddenly feeling like crying. Kyungsoo is what’s wrong. But then, Baekhyun knows that isn’t true.

Kyungsoo’s eyes never leave his. The long period of silence is broken when Kyungsoo forgoes the swing and instead steps into his space to put his arms around him. His scarf covers Baekhyun’s face, Kyungsoo’s scent surrounding him. Ginger cookies and red velvet cupcakes, the things Kyungsoo and his mom bakes during the holiday season. Sweet and comforting. Baekhyun feels the tears prick his eyes.

“It’ll be okay,” Kyungsoo promises, even though he doesn’t know what’s wrong, even though he’ll never know what’s wrong. Baekhyun sniffles, and Kyungsoo stays there, and Baekhyun doesn’t want him to leave. 

“Next year,” Baekhyun says. Kyungsoo pulls away to hear him. “Next year, I’ll be a senior, and then I’ll be gone.”

Of course, Kyungsoo’s eyes reveal nothing. “You’re not leaving far. Just for college.”

“But I’ll be gone.” Baekhyun doesn’t know why it’s so important to him that Kyungsoo acknowledges this. 

“We’ll see each other. We’ll text, too. And you’ll visit.”

“Will you miss me?”

Kyungsoo steps back, sits in his swing. “Are you stupid? Of course I’ll miss you.”

Baekhyun stares at him but all Kyungsoo does is look ahead and swing.

***

It’s hard to love his best friend.

Baekhyun comes late to the park; his mom was yelling at him, again. When he gets to their place, Kyungsoo looks up and blinks snowflakes from his eyelashes. “I thought you weren’t coming.”

“I would have texted you if I wasn’t, genius.”

“Well, still.” Kyungsoo moves forward and back, feet never leaving the ground. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” Baekhyun holds the cold metal of the chains that keep his seat up, then shivers. “I kind of…”

“What?”

Baekhyun shakes his head. After a moment of thought, Kyungsoo stands up and unravels his scarf, carefully wrapping it around Baekhyun. His mittens touch Baekhyun’s cheek as he finishes up, sliding his hands away. When he sits back down he tells him, “you’ll get sick like that.”

“I’ve never gotten sick going out here, ever.”

Kyungsoo frowns. “Then give me back my scarf.”

“No. It’s warm.”

Kyungsoo laughs, a sound that surprises Baekhyun, even though it isn’t a sound unfamiliar to him. Baekhyun stares at Kyungsoo, whose nose and ears are red. He has this overwhelming urge to tell Kyungsoo. He… about him…

“I’ll just buy you a scarf for Christmas,” Kyungsoo says, interrupting his thoughts.

Baekhyun snuggles into the fabric, smiling. “Better yet, just give me one of yours.” 

“Wouldn’t you rather a new one?”

“I’d rather yours.” And Baekhyun gulps. It’s an innocent comment, maybe. But it’s not careful. The delicate balance tips.

“Then,” says Kyungsoo carefully. “You can keep that one.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I like you.”

He doesn’t look at Kyungsoo. He doesn’t look anywhere but at the moon, and at the snowflakes that fall from the sky.

“I like you, too.”

He could leave it there. He could keep the balance. Tit for tat, a gift for a gift, an “I like you” for an “I like you.” But he’s greedy. He tips the scale.

“I like you more than that. I like your voice. It’s really weirdly deep but it’s quiet and nice. I like your hair. It’s always really orderly and neat, and simple. You never colored it like I do but it’s still really nice, and soft. I like how you’re a little bit shorter than me. I like how when you smile your lips turn into a heart. My favorite thing about you are your eyes, because they’re really big and serious, but they’re always so sure.” He should stop. He should stop, but it’s too late, and he thinks that if he’ll die here or lose everything here, he might as well give everything, too. “I like you because it’s you, and I didn’t want to because I’m a boy and you’re a boy and you’re probably straight like everyone is and besides, we’re best friends and we’ll always be just friends.”

“But,” Baekhyun continues, “It’s been killing me. I have to tell you. I’m leaving for college, so if you don’t want to talk anymore, it’s okay.”

Kyungsoo stares at him. His face is red from the cold, red on his cheeks, on his nose, on his ears. Baekhyun finally has the courage to look at him and waits. Finally, Kyungsoo says, “we’ll always be friends.”

The disappointment feels like a weight in his stomach, and Baekhyun nods, numb. “Right.”

“Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo leans the swing to the left, closing the gap between them. He reaches out, and the fluff from his mittens meets Baekhyun’s cheeks, gentle. “I like you.”

And Baekhyun understands. Tit for tat, Kyungsoo’s breath fanning across his face, warmth as his lips meet his, soft and sweet and everything that Kyungsoo is and more. When Baekhyun moves his lips against his, Kyungsoo closes his eyes, their faces so close that Baekhyun can see the snowflakes settling in his eyelashes. Kyungsoo drops his hands to clasp behind Baekhyun’s neck, never moving them even when they finally pull apart, breath white against the cold air.

He’s trying to catch his breath while Kyungsoo looks at him. There’s a stir in his stomach somewhere when his eyes lower to Kyungsoo’s lips, red and puffy from the kiss. He did that. He made Kyungsoo’s eyes close, made his lips rosy. Kyungsoo is flushed, gaze a little hazy, and Baekhyun leans the short distance, kissing him on the nose.

“Your glasses are all fogged up now,” Baekhyun laughs, and Kyungsoo blinks. They separate. Baekhyun reaches out and takes off Kyungsoo’s glasses gently, wiping them with his sweatshirt.

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo breathes. Baekhyun knows he can’t see him clearly, and the sight of him coming closer, breathless, just to see him better, warms him.

The nickname comes without warning. “Yeah, Soo?”

“Um.” Kyungsoo blinks, surprised, and Baekhyun didn’t know his cheeks could get any redder. Finally, Kyungsoo gives up and makes a small sound in the back of his throat, hiding his face against Baekhyun’s shoulder. 

Baekhyun can’t help the smile that reaches his lips. “What? Is that nickname a no-go?”

“I like it…” 

“Hm?”

“Shut up.” Kyungsoo smacks him and gets his glasses, putting them on with a huff. Baekhyun laughs, the adoration overwhelming him. 

“I love you,” he says. “I love you I love you I love you.”

“Baekhyun…”

“Fine, don’t say it back.” He fakes being upset, standing to walk away, then smiles when Kyungsoo grabs his hand.

His voice is quiet, embarrassed. “...I love you, too.”

Around them, it’s stopped snowing. The ground is covered in white, and the moon reflects off the surface. It’s cold, but Baekhyun’s hand is warm surrounded by Kyungsoo’s mittens. Tit for tat. _I love you._

“Merry Christmas, Soo.” 

And it is.

**Author's Note:**

> "If I met you, would tears rise up?  
The foolish me wouldn't be able to say anything  
Tell me, Merry Merry Christmas  
Hi, how have you been?  
When the snow falls, my bruised heart  
Will it all be covered in white?"
> 
> Mittens and Kyungsoo is my favorite aesthetic.


End file.
